Creativity Killers

That's right...it's one of THOSE nights. I had plans to be in bed by now, happily watching my favorite tv game show, "What's My Line?" But no...tonight was one of those ferocious battles. And so as I sat here ready to write or work on some of my projects I realize that the battle has drained my creativity. I've noticed, lately, that there are a lot of Creativity Killers in my house. These are just a few of them to think about.

1. Too much stuff in the way.
2. Laundry and other little tasks. "I'll just get this done then..."
3. Sweet hubby who likes to remind me of to-do items. In all fairness, I do the same thing to him.
4. Everyone else's creativity: intimidating and messy.
5. SLEEP...or the lack of it.

It's no good complaining without thinking of some fixes for the problem, so next time I guess I'll commit to offering up my creativity boosters. If I can wake up. 

Extreme Makeover Home Edition Gets it Right!

It is not too often that a random comment on television leaps out of the set and clarifies life as a Christ Follower, but it happened to me tonight. I was watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition as the team redid the Boettcher Family home. (I think I have that spelling right). "Pastor Steve" (Dad) has run a ministry to biker gangs and bikers for many years. His family also turned their garage into a recreation center for the town kids. Many of these kids were featured on the show, discussing the warmth and love and affection they found at the Boettcher home, in addition to home cooked meals and a little guidance. The Boettcher family lived in a 12 X 70 foot trailer, with their 20 year old daughter and special needs grandson, but they ran an amazing ministry from their garage and home. Mrs. Boettcher cooks each Wednesday for 30 - 40 kids in a kitchen no bigger than an RV kitchen. Ty Pennington, in his own way, was amazed at all the Boettchers have done out of this primitive and falling down home. "You've done all this in this home and kitchen?" he asked. Pastor Steve whipped his head around and looked genuinely surprised by the question, as if it had not occurred to him that these conditions were hardly ideal for running a family, let alone a community ministry. "It's the home I have." he stated simply.

With that, he floored me. What an attitude! Of course I ran my ministry out of here, this is the home I have to give. And with this falling down, broken trailer, Pastor Steve and his family turned lives upside down for God. Wow. If we all could approach our possessions and our lives with that same open-handedness, what would we accomplish? Of course...this is what I have. 

All of this kind of reminded me of the boy with the fishes and the loaves of bread, feeding thousands with "what I have." Or the widow, who offered to God's prophet, "what I have." Or Abraham, who placed on the altar "what I have." 

What do I have?

Extreme Makeover? If people really listen to the story told tonight it could be an Extreme Makeover indeed.

Disney World Rocks!

This weekend we are hanging out at Disney World for my birthday trip. So here's the question we've all been tossing around... What is it about Disney that causes you to know in your heart of hearts that it is fake? The hotels are themed and beautiful, but you find yourself longing for the originals, not the copies. The streets are amazing, but you wish there were some real traffic on them. By the time you leave Disney flowers no longer seem real and you mistrust your own ears. After all, at Disney Vero they play a constant soundtrack of a roaring ocean even on a calm day. So did that bird really twitter? Or was it a sound track?

David and I were discussing this longing we feel for the authentic when we are surrounded by the beautiful copies. There are so many spiritual analogies, and I will leave it to you to draw most of them, but there were two thoughts that surfaced for us. The first is that we all long for the ideal. Inside of us God has planted eternity. Our hearts are longing for heaven, for the real, for the original and not the copy. Disney awakens that desire in us. Secondly, people are amazingly good at telling the real from the fake. We want authenticity. This, of course, applies to nearly everything. My mind is busy applying it to the types of relationships and communities we develop. 

I'm dwelling in the artificial dreaming of the authentic. Let's go create it!

So this was in NYC during our Christmas trip. Not a great photo, now that I see it, but I wanted the practice of uploading a photo and posting about it! I am excited about NYC, because I am headed there again in April for the Q conference hosted by the fermiproject. It focuses on the intersection of church and culture, a current passion of mine. 

What I am Reading Today:

"It's Not about the Coffee" by Howard Behar

Good book about leadership and life lessons learned while he was the president of Starbucks.

Living with Routines Makes Life Simpler

Or at least, so they say. Jillian and I are establishing some new routines to help us through this time. I am requiring her to be done with her preparations for bed by 1 AM. If she is, then I will stay up with her. If she isn't, then I am supposed to go to bed. So far she has made it on time. I am afraid that I have very little will power. Will I stand up to her when she is late, as she inevitably will be?

In other news (is there any other news?) I am thinking through two large projects. First of all, I am researching a new book. (New...as if there were an old book?) The working title which will not be the final title is "The Re-Imagined Life". I am fascinated with people who either through God's direction or their own desires stop and re-invent themselves. I don't even know if it will be fiction or non-fiction yet, but I am enjoying the research phase. Second, I am actively planning my real blog, which will be at coffee shop journal. I am praying over what direction it should take and learning what I can about making blogs successful. I am fascinated with the depth of the blogging world, and am excited about some of the ideas that I have in my mind. Now to make two large dreams a reality....

Change is coming

I found a great blog tonight called Writer's Island. It is a site for people who love to write to "congregate." Each week they issue a writing challenge or theme, and this week the theme is "Change." So I am contemplating change tonight. And you know what I discovered?

1. We all believe that change is necessary. Most of the time this applies to our spouse or our kids, though in January we attempt to change ourselves. Every night I sit here and write about how Jillian MUST change. She must go to bed earlier, or stay up on her own fearlessly. She must embrace change. And every night I sit here and think that I, too, must change. I must become more organized; I must help her become what she needs to be; I must reach out more often to my mom, or my kids, or the stranger who isn't really much of a stranger. But each night as we sit here, we don't change. It is still 3:13 as I write this. I am still disorganized and angry, and strangers have not been made into friends.

2. We also realize that change happens all around us in the physical realm. New computers come on the market (yes, I love my macbook air!!!). Buildings are built and friends move. Grocery stores restock their shelves. New jobs are created; new jobs are lost. We even look in the mirror and realize that our bodies have gone on and changed without us. How did we become this?

3. Finally, I guess I am intrigued with the fact that some people do, in fact, make decisions and change. We lose weight (over and over?), we quit smoking, we do any number of things that we purpose in our hearts to do. But through it all there is the core of us that remains unchanged. I think that core is the "eternity" that God sets in our hearts. Something inside me resists the idea that everything must change. I long for the realization that "it is good," and it will be here forever. We all do! We want our childhood blanket to always offer comfort, we want our freshly painted walls to stay bright, and we want most of all to freeze our bodies in whatever state we most fondly imagine. We want eternity. 

So there are my current thoughts on change. This week my challenge is to take those thoughts and write my post for Writer's Island. I want to do this. I need to do this, because I keep saying how much I long to write and yet I never do. I want to change.

I lied Tonight

Last night was SO HORRIBLE with Jillian. She was mad; she screamed; she threatened to move to Georgia and I threatened to let her. She was up until 2:45 and I was up until 3:15, crying, praying and trying to repent for all that I said to her in the heat of the moment.

So tonight we began with a textbook parenting case. "Tonight," I told Jillian, "You will be in bed by 1:00 AM or I am going to go ahead and go to bed. If you are after 1, you can come to my room and kiss me, but I will be in my own room."

Turns out, I lied. At 1:05 she was nearly finished, and I didn't see any reason to upset the apple cart over 5 minutes. Then she needed her back cracked (I'm terrible at that). She needed more water. She need to stretch her back, and her blankets must die (according to her) for all the trouble they cause her in refusing to stay tucked. So here we are now, 1:49 and she is still cheerily calling out goodnight. She's happy as a lark. And each time that lark sings I cringe. 

Really...the rest of the day we have a fairly normal, slightly rocky mother and daughter relationship. But as soon as the clock hits 11:00 pm, things go downhill. I wish I could change this pattern, but here we still are. I am trying during these teenage years to pick and choose my battles, to hold my tongue even when I see disaster looming. But oh the hairs on the back of my head stand up each time she thinks of a new question to toss out into the living room. I think, "How old are you? These are childish games, not for you. You are almost 15." Then I begin to worry about her, which of course makes my temper shorter than it was to begin with. And then, well it is a self-defeating and self-destructive cycle after that. 

So here I sit...sending words and emotions out into the blogosphere for no apparent reason and no apparent readers. But somehow at the end of this rant, I feel better. Maybe that's the reason.