Monday, March 24, 2008

Why I am Dancing Thru My Daddy's World

I realized that I never explained the title of this blog, Dancing Thru Her Daddy's World. At this point there are still very few readers, so I guess it doesn't matter. But for the record...

Several years ago my father died from kidney cancer after a very short illness (six weeks). Dad was the emotional and physical center of our family, and when he left us we began to wobble around. When your center is suddenly moved, everything falls apart for awhile. Until the day when you notice that maybe life is worth living after all. God sneaks in while you are not watching and reminds you that He made this world, and it is good.

I was on a plane trip to Boston last year when I noticed that it was an exceptionally clear day, and the view from 30,000 feet was stunning. I could see coastline very clearly (Chesapeake Bay area, I think). The sun was shining down and it was one of those moments when God clearly parts the veil for a moment and I realized again that life is good. So I started talking to God. I told Him that without my dad as a fixed reference point, I didn't feel like I had a place in this world. I was missing my anchor. And without my dad, I wasn't sure who I was anymore. Without my dad, the weight of the world sat heavily on my shoulders, and I didn't feel free to dance or be happy, or smile or relax. I know those are silly thoughts from a 44 year old woman, but that's what I told God that day.

From that plane at 30,000 feet God gently reminded me that He is my father, that my identity is in him, and that the whole world is his home. He prompted me to look at the country flying by below. As I did, I imagined all the little cafes by the ocean where happy people and sad people were eating their dinners in the late afternoon. I thought about coffee shops where people were reading their books and clicking away on their computers. I could imagine all those places to dance through the world. And God reminded me that they all belong to him, and I am his daughter. I am free to dance through the world perfectly at home with the place He has shown me. I am allowed to give Him the responsibility. He delights in smiles, and he wants me to be happy. I am allowed to relax, and so I can dance.

The metaphor of dancing through my daddy's world (yeah - it's a metaphor. I am a lousy dancer) helps me to realize that I am not in control and I was never meant to be. I'm free to become the most I can be with the talents I have. I don't need to worry about the ones I don't have. How amazing is that? 

1 comment:

MCC said...

Something very similar happened to me when my mother passed away. God is amazing to truly love someone like me and be willing to remind me every so often.